Shadow, The
by diannewinter
Summary: Nadia Cohen is a new face in town. She used to do work for the Natsuki family and an old SOA enemy, Jacob Hale. Nadia ends up injured in SOA courtyard after a clash with Hale. Tig helps her out uneasily, partially due to her attractiveness, partially due to her presence of mind. The future of their relationship doesn't look bright however.
1. Chapter 1

**_Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work._**

**_Reviews are welcomed! Write me what you think, what/if you expect to read about these characters further, etc. Thank you!_**

**The Shadow – a Tig story **

**Follow up in Ashes and Burns**

By Dianne Winter

**Premises:** Nadia Cohen is a new face in town. She used to do work for the Natsuki family and an old SOA enemy, Jacob Hale, who tries to bring in some dubious investors to Charming. One of them is Nadia's brother, Brad, a British porn king. But Hale suspects Nadia is playing him and aims to obtain her loyalty by force, in turn causing her to rebel and cause an array of destruction, culminating to a chase and a nasty chain crash.

The courtyard is unusually quiet, somewhat deserted: no motors today, just the mechanics mending something in the garage. Somewhere in the shade, Tig stretches on an iron table, lazily puffing some weed. The sound of an engine tears at the silence, uneasily forcing him out of his lethargy.

As she approaches, Nadia knows this is either life or death, but she has no choice, she's out of friends for the day. Her bike is badly damaged, yet remarkably, still running, her black leather jacket, dusty and torn and she's bleeding. There's no time to find the exact place of the wound; everything hurts after that tumble. Thanks goodness for the adrenaline kicking in, allowing for a kind of agonizing alertness. As soon as she pulls over, she gets a faint sense of accomplishment and she knows this is too soon. "Don't you relax; focus! Just focus!" she whispers to herself wrestling her injured, tired body.

Tig watches her with a cold, vague expression that both puzzles and intrigues her. Nadia doesn't know exactly what she should say; she simply un-mounts and removes her helmet. The dark, long hair flows over her back and shoulders, tips dancing in the hot breeze. Her sensual, exotic features: hips to die for, hard, round bosoms, tan skin, large, high cheek bones, bright greenish eyes and softly curved, full lips make Tig utter a quick "oh, yeah…" Juice appears out of nowhere, watching the stranger with a gaze could be easily described as outrage.

"Can you take a look at my bike?" she goes smiling shyly. Her accent is bizarre too, sounds rather British.

Baffled, the men beam at each other.

"Yeah, sure," says Tig eventually. "What happened?"

"Had a crash," she responds laconically.

"Anyone else involved?" asks Tig casually.

"Just I," she retorts briefly, then adds looking straight into his pale eyes: "No cops, please."

Tig takes a moment to reflect before nodding in agreement.

"Are you ok?" he investigates glancing at her torn jacket. He's already noticed a tiny trickle of blood dripping down her arm.

"Yeah," she says simply, and then questions both: "do you have a bathroom around here?"

"Sure, just walk in, to the right," Juice responds almost automatically with a note of surprising politeness which instantly drives Tig mad. He hated when Juice was pulling this sort of lines. But Tig himself can't take his eyes off her. He seems mesmerized by her swaying shapes that remind him a predatory animal, perhaps a panther, oh yeah, a dark, silky panther with green eyes and a thin smirk. He's already picturing her naked on the pool table moaning while he enters her over and over mindlessly. For a moment he needs to close his eyes, wishing to shake off this fantasy and regain some sort of clarity of thought. Perhaps Juice already figured it out; he must have since he's staring back at him with his eyes pilled.

"Hey, what's your name, babe?" he says simulating lack of intention.

She just smiles making her way to the bathroom.

It's been a while now since Tig came to understand his own sadness. He felt broken and bitter, and didn't seem able to come to grips with it just yet. Despite the hard shell he kept displaying, the cruel clown façade which impressed his buddies and got bitches wet, he wasn't rock solid. Tiggy had serious issues. As a matter of fact, all he ever needed was an unchanged order, something that prevented him to face the chaos within. This is one of the reasons why he didn't cope well with change and since Clay fall off with Gemma, things kept changing. With an ambitious and inexperienced Jax in power, Tig felt increasingly unsafe and that in turn meant even more torment, bitterness and aggression. There are things in life which would turn most people wiser or at least cautious, but in Tig's case, such events had only made him bolder.

As soon as she leaves his sight another emotion seeps in his mind, quickly taking over: the feeling of danger, of being played; it's overwhelming. _Bitch!_ he mumbles to himself, staring without a target. _Something's up with this girl, something bad. Fuck it!_ he whispers heading in hastily. Tig slams the bathroom door open, and with a swift, angry gesture, pins her against the wall.

"Who the fuck are ya?" he growls at her grabbing her slender neck with his large hand.

"Hold your horses, cowboy!" the woman chuckles revealing a row of pearly-white teeth. "I'm just… I need help," she says fighting his grip, "let go…" She then adds a firm, almost commanding: "Please."

A shiver of pleasure goes down Tig's spine. That imposing voice, that unconditioned, undisputable and yet so humble "please" makes his eyes moist with sentiment and desire. He had always been a sucker for strong women. They've been like a sort of spell, his secret fetish; each time he bumped into one, he almost lost control and he thought he was damned right to react that way, after all, women like those were rare. This was one of the reasons for revering Gemma. In his case, such appreciation translated into lust, which he was still significantly fighting to suppress. As for this bitch, oh she was trouble, not only for him, but for the club, yet he wanted to be a good puppy, ohhhh he wanted so badly.

"Fine!" he smirks silly, releasing her.

"I'm Nadia, by the way," she says smiling back, touching her neck.

"Tig…"

"Can you stitch? Tig..." she asks, shamelessly removing her jacket, exposing her gorgeous naked chest. Apart from a few bruises and some superficial cuts, she seems fine. A nasty gash on her shoulder makes him question if they should imply Tara. His eyes trace the sinuous contour of a tiger tattooed on her back, climbing his way up through beautifully drawn clouds, arching its neck towards the shoulders. This wasn't the overused, dark motif so abused by most of the bikie whores he used to fuck, this was a genuine work of art, a refined piece, something of Asian influence and perhaps creation, something which must have cost a lot of money.

The shoulder injury seemed deep and painful. Fresh blood kept coming out of it with each move. Tig could have fixed it, but perhaps Tara would have been able to do a more aesthetic job.

"Hey, we have a doctor around here. I think you should have that looked at…"

She starts searching through the first aid box.

"I want you to do it," she says uncompromisingly putting the needle and the thread in his hand.

"This is gonna hurt," he whispers, but she is undeterred and fearless. She closes her eyes and doesn't make a sound while the needle pierces through her skin.

He is no short but amazed and somewhat respectful. Deep down all Tig wants is to get close to her, to be loved. Sometimes it feels easier to share intimacies with total strangers, especially when you think they're not going to stick around for much longer. He could turn very soft, it was what women liked after all, but in a split second he could revert to the cold, spiteful man he liked so much to be. But with this one he had no idea which way was best.

"You're not from around," he questions picking up the bandages.

The girl looks at him with her intense eyes in which he guesses a shameful secrets and unspeakable misfortunes.

"I grew up in London, UK," she responds.

"What are ya doing in Charming?"

Nadia takes some time before answering; she doesn't know how to put it without revealing too much:

"Long story… I wanted a quiet place."

He grins, thinking about it. _Wrong choice, bitch!_

"So what happened?" he inquires.

"I went into a fight with some people. They followed me, I dashed, I crashed…"

"Why did ya come _here_?"

She turns around amused, looking into his eyes with a mix of desire and childishness:

"You fix bikes, don't you?"

Tig is not falling for it. He's too old to be that stupid and he certainly is not a stupid man in the first place. He leans forward, kisses her cheeks, her open lips, even if this was the last thing to do, he had to do it. It feels awkward. She didn't expect this, she doesn't know him at all, she shouldn't, but it does good: it's warm, comforting, it almost makes her cry.

"What did you do, Nadia?"

She glances back with a dread expression:

"I killed somebody."

The revelation has a stunning effect on Tig. He suddenly acquires the sensation he'd known her for years, as if he were inexplicably and intricately related to her.

"Who did you kill, Nadia?"

She shrugs, wishing she could avoid his eyes, then utters bluntly:

"Jacob Hale."

"Oh shit, baby," he says taking a few steps back. The anguish unravels before his eyes in a series of consequences he hates to think of, but he has to. "Why did ya do that for?"

She's out of context, half naked in front of him; perhaps her arrival was a stupid thing after all. There's always some other choice. She wasn't ready to spill the beans; she would have felt less of herself in that event.

"There's no point talking to you about this!" she answers in anger, yet her furious pain is telling him more than she ever intended. He figures it all out without her having to say a word more. He sighs, and then walks out at a slow pace.

xxx

"So what's the story with that one?" asks Jax visibly nervous.

"Personal beef," answers the mechanic slightly bored.

"This is a fff… This is… we don't need this shit right now," the President puts it scratching his forehead.

Ever since he fell under the spell of his mom's Latino lover, Jax behaved like a prick. He still tried to do the right thing, which was even worse than just letting himself becoming an ass. This way he only managed to come across as unprepared and annoying. Tig loathed the new order of things.

"I agree," acknowledges the mechanic looking straight into his face. "So what shall we do about it? I can get rid of her, if you want."

"I know you can, Tig," answers Jax sneeringly.

"We might use her in the future," suggests Juice blatantly. "I mean, you never know, we might give her up for something in return… I'm just saying."

"Just shut up, Juice!" Tig hushes him with a kind of contempt in his voice, turning to Jax. "So what do you want with her, boss?"

Jax hates the way he's being addressed, but can't help it. There's hardly any room for additional confrontation that day.

"We keep her for a few days," the president replies shortly. "I've got other things now. Make sure she stays in! Tie her down if you have to. We'll call a meeting."

"All right," agrees the mechanic, pushing Juice back in.

Nadia waits on a chair by the bar. She knows it's not looking good for her; they don't need to tell her, she can see it on their faces. Those losers, with their chrome, petrol smelling toys and their little guns, their knives tied to the belt like teen age punks, she feels disgusted and will never allow them the luxury to take her down. At least this way of thinking makes her lose some of that timidity. In reality, Nadia is an introverted girl, she doesn't like people much, but she's learnt how to take them.

"You're coming with me," commands Tig grabbing her arm.

"Piss off!" she spits at him.

"A feisty one! I like it!" he retorts chewing his tongue in delight.

Nadia walks off on her own retreating into the small bedroom by the bar. She's obviously disturbed with the idea of spending her day hidden there and having to put up with Tig and his mates. She's already decided if any of them tries something funny she'll take them all down or at least as many as she can.

The news of her havoc must have arrived already. It's not every day that Charming gets such fun. Shooting Hale in cold blood wasn't enough to quench her thirst for revenge. She also saw fit to kill two of his bodyguards and set his office on fire. When the remaining brutes got the picture and came after her, she went straight for a big truck coming the opposite way, kamikaze style. It wasn't until the last moment that she swerved away and down that ditch. Poor suckers they came crushing in and a bunch of other cars behind them. As a result, the traffic jammed: ideal conditions to squeeze through even on a wrecked bike. Heart pounding, scared stiff, yet feeling very alive, Nadia drove into the arms of the enemy. What can you do when you don't trust your own brother and you don't have anybody else? It is in Jax's mind now, what did that bastard, Hale, do to drive her so crazy…

Tig knew already and he simply waited for the right moment to push her buttons. It wasn't out of curiosity or to help the president make up his mind, it was simply to defuse Nadia. The frustration and some form of guilt were chewing her soul and that was bad for all of them. The mechanic was certain she would have been easier to handle if she chose to share her secret with him.

She stretched on the bed quietly. As soon as he stepped out, she removed the plasticised photo from the back pocket of her trousers. It was of her dead lover, Takezo Natsuki. He died in Osaka just the year before. It was a surprising and unnecessary death, a common car accident. "I might join you," she whispers softly closing her eyes. "Soon."

When Tig comes in with the lunch: two sandwiches and a glass of orange juice, he found her asleep. He gently lays the tray on the bedside table, looking at her intensively. Without a sound, he gets on top of her, forcing her legs open.

"Is this what happened?" he asks, holding her arms apart.

Stunned, Nadia freezes for a moment. It isn't until he slides his hand inside her trousers that she goes berserk. Tig has no real desire to have her against her will, but he knows the simple suggestion would infuriate her. He releases her as soon as she starts to struggle. The tray flies past his head, nearly missing his eye. Her kicks get the better of him and managed to cause some damage to his upper lip. But soon getting away just isn't enough for Nadia. She picks up a lamp and comes after him, speechless, yet tensed and driven. Insane. The two stumble outside. She ditches the lamp for a better weapon, a wrench which she finds more appropriate for the job. _It is kind of funny to kill the man using his own tools_, she ponders focussing on him, ready to pounce.

Chibs and Juice pull their guns out. They have no idea what happened in there and don't give a rat's ass about it either. They simply recognize a brother in trouble. Tig had no doubt in his mind she was ready to finish him off, he also notices another kind of morbid wish which scares him far worse than her cruel intention. This girl has a death wish. If he were to tame this one, he needed to be careful.

Calmly, Tig pleads with them to put down their weapons.

"Lower your guns, take it easy," then scornfully beaming at her, "it's just a lovers' thing. Why don't you get rid of that wrench, doll?"

"Up yours, bitch!" she retorts angrily.

"Think for a moment. That's all I'm asking," he urges her, stepping closer. "Come on, give me that shit. I won't hurt ya, think about it."

"I don't trust you."

"You've got no choice, babe", he points at his friends then approaches her directly, fearlessly. He puts his hands on her cheeks, they're burning up. He feels her giving up, crumbling inside, so he tells her: "I am not Hale!" His eyes are cold, emotionless, creepy. She gulps for air. "Would I kill ya? Oh yeah. Would I enjoy myself doing that? Perhaps. Would I take advantage of you? Never. You can count on it." He takes the tool from her hand and moves away casually. "Loosen up, sis! You're a fucking ticking bomb."

"I'm always ready to die," she murmurs.

"You will, but not now, not today. Don't hurry death. Don't tempt me, don't!"

He wanted to scare her, but it was also true. He enjoyed killing. Chibs and Juice watch everything with a sense of amazement. Juice understands most of it, but his mate is utterly lost and he feels like asking for details. Yet, Juice whisks him out of there, while Tig returns Nadia to her confinement.

"Tig? Stay!" she asks him just when he's about to walk out the door.

"I shouldn't," he refuses with a smile at the corner of his mouth.

"Just stay. I'm so sad," she bursts.

"I don't care," he cuts it sharply.

"You shouldn't, but I need to tell you everything," she tries to tempt him.

"I'm not sure it'd do ya any good, girl," he declines.

Nadia won't just give up easily. She's not that type:

"So let's talk about you," she provokes him.

"Neah, I don't like talking about me," he responds swiftly.

"What's up?"

"Nothing. Things."

"Have you tried shrinks?" she beams.

"Waste of time. You?"

"Aham."

"What did they say?" he investigates.

"Waste of time."

Tig finds himself in an impossible place: the girl is funny, bright, beautiful and crazy. It is true insane bitches fuck madly, yet they're too much trouble overall. He can only think of having sex with her, but to his horror he begins to develop some feelings. What if they start on that path to realize he'd fallen for her? Neah, no woman can possess his mind that way, perhaps Gemma could, but that was an exception.

"Don't do anything stupid," he says fatherly.

"I won't."

"Sure?"

"I promise."

That soft voice and those full lips. He can't resist speaking his mind:

"Hey, I kinda like ya, girl. I shouldn't, it might get harder for me later."

"I know. Well, I guess you'll figure it out."

"Sleep."

The door closes behind him. She hears a key locking up.

**Follow up in Ashes and Burns**


	2. Chapter 2

**_Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work._**

**_Reviews are welcomed! Write me what you think, what/if you expect to read about these characters further, etc. Thank you!_**

**Premises:** Nadia Cohen is playing a dangerous game. She is by far more dangerous that she initially appeared, but she presents an interesting business opportunity the new president smells, but hasn' t yet grasped. Although or even perhaps he is sexually and sentimentally attracted to her, Tig wants her out in a way or another. In this respect he confronts with Jax who needs to reinforce his authority.

**Ashes and Burns (Follow up in Colour of Darkness)**

The news of the arson came as a surprise to everyone besides Jax, Tig, Juice and Chibs. They were in this together and Jax hated it. He thought sooner or later it would come to Clay's notice. In this respect a meeting was imminent. Juice's call regarding the incident between Nadia and Tig forced Jax to demand explanations, which he disliked. Deep down he saw Tig as a thorn in his side, an agent placed by Clay to undermine his efforts. As for the fate of this mysterious and beautiful defector, he should have already said this way or the other, but he simply couldn't. Not after that confession of hers. Refreshed, after a good sleep, chewing up a cheese sandwich, she just sat there serene, telling them who she was and what happened. As if she didn't give a shit about her own life. Her words were reverberating in his mind, like a distant fucked up song:

"My name is Nadia Cohen. I'm the sister of Eram Brad Cohen also known as Brad King, the porn star. I did work for the Natsuki family. I came to Charming accompanying my brother who wanted to invest in real estate developments and other such legit ventures under the umbrella of Jacob Hale. Brad is a selfish idiot. I had no choice but to put up with his bollocks, after all, he is family. He tried to scam Hale and unsurprisingly got him really pissed. I had to pay the bill. I've been Hale's bitch for a while. One day I've had it. Mind you, Hale was a scumbag and treated me like crap. I killed him in cold blood. I set the place on fire to cover my tracks. Unfortunately I got followed on the way out. Childish mistake really. That's why I crashed. If the cops put it together I stand no chance. I don't want to go to prison over this. I'm not Snow White and I don't expect you to sympathise with me. I'm only saying I mean no harm upon this club, I came here because I had no other choice. I don't trust my brother at this stage."

Jax knew everybody suspected the Sons for what happened to Hale and his business. He also knew that sooner or later the cops will get a warrant and will storm in. This could turn ugly in relation to the CIA deal. He wondered how long they were eager to cover his club's shady deals. The fact that the Sons had the culprit was not necessarily playing in their advantage. On the other hand, it wasn't moral to turn down a woman in need of help. Jax could never renounce his principles, he could never get rid of someone who went through similar things his mother once did. Perhaps Tig was more pragmatic, but he was also crazy and crazy meant wrong.

"Sons should not be afraid of taking on their enemies!" Jax concluded somewhat vaguely.

But most of all, he feared Tig's reaction. "She's a lying whore. We need to take her out," Tig told him. Jax needed to squash his desire and ability to respond beyond his presidential authority if he wanted to lead the club. Tig had to be put on a tighter leash. Little did he know, but the wheels were already set in motion.

As for Tig, he also woke up with a clear head. The whore he slept with the night before was still cuddling in bed, perhaps confused by his lovable mood. He lay his eyes on her and instantly felt dirty. "Get away from me. You stink," he said kicking her out of the bed. The woman, surprised, but not new to the treatment, began looking for her clothes in a hurry, mumbling something. "Shut the fuck up, I'm trying to think!" he hushed her abruptly, hurrying into the shower. He wanted to find Nadia cuddled in his arms, not that slut; he couldn't even remember her name. But who was Nadia, if not another tart set to destroy him? Them? Things didn't add up, her composure, her rage, her trauma, nothing felt real and all of the sudden Tig got to the point. He felt relieved knowing what needed to be done. _Shit! Jax would never approve_, he said to himself. And he was right.

Xxx

The diner is empty. It recently gets empty when the Sons walk in. This is yet another thing Jax hates about how things run since he took over. That entire story with the Mexicans and the drug lords scares people off. Damn Clay and his legacy, it was his fault after all, he started on this path.

"You're not eating, girl?" asks Chibs looking at the untouched hamburger.

"Not very kosher," she replies.

"You're religious," he concludes.

"Where's Tig?" she changes the subject.

"You miss him already?" retorts the Scottish bloke grinning.

"Not at all, was just curious. Is it my impression or he's kind of avoiding me?"

"After all that shit between the two of you yesterday…"

She leans forward, picking up some French fries:

"That's none of your concern, buddy."

"Be a bitch, but one thing's for certain: bitches should watch out for guys like Tiggy," he retorts mockingly standing up and walking to the counter past Juice and Jax.

Nadia smiles licking her fingers:

"I have no particular interest in that twat, anyway."

Judging by what she was seeing, Nadia could already make a few points. First of all, this was a divided club with a young president who set morals higher than business and yet failed to see these going through. Secondly, Tig was too volatile to be of any good, she needed someone softer, easier to manipulate, someone like Juice for example. Last but not least, she liked Chibs for the simple reason he reminded her own father and for the very same reason she needed to be extra careful around him.

"You're not excited to go back to your brother?" says Jax sitting at the table.

"Not really," responds Nadia quickly. "Jax, I knew a man like you once," she adds softly. "He was a man of his word, a man with a vision. I loved him."

"Now you sound like my mother," smiles Jax rather indifferently.

"Men with principles either die young or they get all chewed up by this society we live in. I wonder which kind are you," she says looking over his shoulder. He finds her glance rather creepy, as if he should turn his head, but resists the temptation.

"How about you, Nadia? What kind of person are you?"

"I know lots of things about your club, but I can't afford to be judgemental. For example I know you sell guns to all sorts of people. Once you've even tried dealing with the Palestinians. Hell, we sold guns to the Palestinians as well. Just for fun. That has little to do with morality, has it?"

Jax is amazed with her boldness.

"You're wrong about this MC."

"You have no idea what I know, Jax. And because you're not sure just what I know, you'd better keep me alive. I'll watch your back."

The president is infuriated with her proposal. He finds her uncomfortable and downright dangerous. Perhaps Tig knew better after all. He can't wait to get rid of her, to surrender her to the protective or not arms of her brother. He didn't care, he simply wanted her gone.

"Oh yeah, I've met bitches like you and you know what? I've got my brothers to watch my back for me."

"Like now?"

Before she finishes the sentence, a gun is fired. The same instance, Nadia pulls Jax aside, pushing his head down, under the table. In a split second she gets hold of Juice's gun and blasts the shooter's brains out. She rests the gun on the table and stretches with a satisfied grin painted all over her face. The body of a large Mexican lay in the door. The waitress trembles in shock, pissing the floor, still holding on to the coffee mug.

"All right, who the fuck are you really?" asks Jax trying to retain a certain degree of composure.

"Ask Romeo. We work together every now and again," she replies coldly.

Back at the club, behind closed doors, Jax brings the news to an impatient Tig.

"I told ya, that bitch was lying. Shit! I knew it, all those faces she was pulling! All fake, man, all fake. We should have taken her down as I said," goes Tig dancing up and down the room like a maniac.

"Just shut the fuck up, Tig! That bitch saved my life today," screams Jax out of his wits. "Okay, I'm not sure why she did it, but she did. We don't know what we're getting ourselves into, man."

"Yeah, yeah, that's exactly what I'm saying, bro. Ever since you're in power we don't know anymore where we're heading and what we're we getting ourselves into!" explodes Tig.

"Well you know what, bro? If you don't like it, why don't you leave?" retorts Jax firmly.

Chibs tries to separate them, he fears a fist fight is about to begin.

"I'm going to," claims Tig all of the sudden stripping off his jacket. "I'm going to."

xxx

Brad is searching the Internet for references of himself. He's recently obsessed with Google, although he tries not to take it too seriously. It's just something fun to do between having sex with models, directing porn scenes and attending boring meetings. Despite having cultivated a rock star look, Brad still sensed he lacked some of that glamour his sister naturally possessed. _Fuck her!_ Oh he would if only she wasn't family. Finding what he was after he giggles in delight, touching his penis just to make sure it's not standing up too visibly.

The door opens unexpectedly.

"Hello, Nadia!" he squeals happily as she walks in followed by Jax, Chibs and Juice. "Where the hell have you been, you bitch? Oh, hang on, hon, who are the hillbillies?"

Jax can't believe his eyes. _What's up with this clown?_ If he didn't do porn he could successfully pass as Jesus mixed up with the Goth movement and a tinge of Bono.

"Don't do that long face, blondie, you look lovely in that outfit, by the way, I'd rather see you stripped, but never mind, I'm a crazy chap, you see," Brad continues joyfully emitting a high pitch irritating laughter.

"Cut the crap!" retorts Jax outraged.

"How silly of me, boys! Of course I know who you are; I'm a big fan, by the way. So did you actually set that bastard on fire?"

"I did," retorts Nadia distantly.

A bit puzzled, Brad opens a can of fizzy drink and chuckles once more:

"You're really fucked up, sis. Care to snog, love?"

"Oh, blow me!" she responds tired crushing on the red, velvety couch.

"We're taking over your porn business here in Charming," says Jax scornfully, but definitely.

"You're what?" Brad questions slightly amused.

"You can continue to work for us, you'll get a share of the profits. Fair enough."

Brad is so surprised he needs some kind of confirmation from his sister:

"Nadia, love, what the hell is this?"

"Meet our new business partners, honey," she replies massaging her forehead.

"My word! I'm not going to put up with this!" he yells at the bikers.

Jax's punch to the stomach already makes him see things are just as serious as they look. There's no need for the guns pointing in his direction.

"All right, all right, now these are indeed very bad reviews, fellows," he begs ridiculously pushing the air between them with his open palms. "No need to emphasize. But I want at least 60%."

"30," agrees Jax generously.

"45?" the porn star tries.

"30."

"35?"

"Deal," Jax cuts the negotiation slightly disgusted, then turns to the Sons. "Let's get the hell outta here."

Xxx

The cool of the night refreshes Tig's mind. Shit, did he actually give up his club? It's like breaking up with the family, it can't be. A sinister thought seeps into his brain. He needs to get that bitch, nothing else matters. They'll thank him for it when he's gone. They'll remember Tig as the one who protected the club no matter what, even when they refused to see it. Clay gives him one of those intense looks. He fears for Tig, he's a loyal friend, perhaps the most loyal, one of his few remaining friends. He doesn't want to see him go.

"I need to get that woman, Clay!"

"You need to get your head straight, go to Jax say you're sorry, play the game," answers the old man firmly.

"She… she's… she's nothing but trouble."

"You're shaking for her," Clay observes in despair.

"I'm gonna fuck her dead body and when I'm done, gonna fuck it some more!" boasts the mechanic breathing erratically.

"That is a very sick thing to say, Tiggy."

Walking in, Jax feels instantly uneasy to find Tig and Clay together. It looks like the old times. Paranoia and perhaps repressed fury make Jax react outside any calculations. He heads straight for them and commences yelling:

"What are you doing here, Tig? You wanted out, you are out!"

"Call a meeting first, I want to have my say before I go," responds the mechanic somewhat looking to pacify the new President.

"Give me your vest!"

"Fine, burn it!" Tig throws it back at Jax who in turn, throws it on the pavement.

"Easy, son," intervenes Clay.

"How many times have I told you, I'm not your son!" responds Jax furiously so close to his face, Clay feels the eagerness of throwing in a punch or two, just to make space, but he confines himself to backing down. "And you, Tig, I hope you'll have those tattoos removed. I'll check you. If I find out you've been showing up wearing them, you're in big trouble and you know I mean it!"

The scandal draws Gemma out. She was already concerned about Tig and his issues with Jax and now this! Gemma had feelings for the mechanic: he's been a good friend, a confident and a potential lover. She wanted him there in the club; she knew a lone Tig was an even bigger problem.

"You want my tattoos, come and get them, boy!" the mechanic provokes him directly. "Go get a blow torch and burn them out of my skin."

"I'm not a maniac like you, Tig." Looking at the horrified face of his mother, Jax has another thing to say and although he tries very hard to fight himself not to speak it loud, he can't help himself: "I know, mom, he's another favourite!"

Gemma picks up Tig's vest and holds it to her chest. This is a dangerous turn of events. She'll keep it just in case.

**_Follow up in Colour of Darkness_**


	3. Chapter 3

_**Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work.**_

**_Reviews are welcomed! Write me what you think, what/if you expect to read about these characters further, etc. Thank you!_**

**In my previous story, Tig was leaving the club after an altercation with Jax sparked by Nadia's presence. Now Tig is all about revenge and loss, a very dangerous development, both sick and sexy. Read on, hope you like it!**

**The Colour of Darkness**

******_Follow up in Bad Seeds_**

**part 1**

by Dianne Winter

Nadia lays on the floor naked and stoned, Juice asleep next to her. The computer plays some old music. Nadia stares into the ceiling counting the times she thought the lamp moved: 132. She laughs touching herself. Despite her best efforts she couldn't get an orgasm, but she mimicked a convincing one just to keep Juice happy. Somehow she has no energy left for masturbation. She feels dead and empty. But there's a heart somewhere there, burning with desire and hatred, burning with life and asking for death. If she could get one spark, one tiny spark of that life, she could revive her own soul. Brad is at home. He drinks himself to near death ever since she told him: "You don't like our new partners? Well, honey, you be my bitch this time around! Remember when I begged you to stop Hale and you said nooooo, it's all business, baby. It's all business, baby." Nadia giggles and giggles lighting up another cig. She told Chibs to bring Juice more often. Juice was a lot of fun, a very cute boy too, gosh she felt almost old around him, although they were about the same age. Strange feeling. One year later and she was still not up for it. Damn, when will she let go Takezo? She should try to make it work with this fresh meat. It might be the right medicine. Or not.

"Fixed your bike," he said.

"Thank you, Juice," she responded trying to hide the disappointment of seeing him there alone. She knew Tig worked on that bike too. Besides, Juice got so fucking romantic.

"You're welcome. Hey, we're having a party at the club. Wanna come?"

"Sure," well what else, she couldn't just refuse him. She wanted this fun and yeah, promising affair. He liked her; he craved her, like a kid, ice cream. In turn, having a piece of her would have made him look like such a hunk.

"Hop on!"

That's how she got hooking up with Juice. But there was a catch: what you do when you want someone else badly, yet he might be coming to kill you?

Nadia puffs amused at her immature thoughts, turning the sound lower. She thinks she heard a noise outside. Hastily she puts on her clothes: a very simple short black dress and low heel shoes, a very casual style, but it still suits her brilliantly. Dizzy, she dashes down the stairs like a teen ready to sneak out with a secret lover. She steps out hesitantly.

Tig planned on shooting her without a word. But hearing her calling him changes his mind. The outcast feels like a coward. She deserves better. Without his insignia he is stripped, vulnerable and humiliated. He's been living rough for a while now, drinking heavily, obsessed with revenge and terrified by his loss. He's fuming and by contrast she's actually glad to see him.

"Bitch!" he growls removing his helmet with a swift gesture, while pointing the gun with the other arm. But all he can see in that dim light is a younger Gemma. She is so pretty, her dark hair flowing over her back, that little dress hung on her shoulders by minute straps. Such a shame.

"Sorry," he whispers. She just waits there motionless. He expected her to fight him. Nadia closes her eyes and takes a big gulp of air, the gun at her forehead, so close, so very close. Her features change into that tensed, yet uplifting expression of the orgasm, the one she denied herself with Juice. She sighs shaking with pleasure. This one is no acting, is the real thing and she doesn't even have to touch herself. It's all in the mind and so strong she needs to sit as soon as she finishes.

"You fucking whore," he murmurs slowly.

She's all quiet and keeps staring at him expressionless except for the tears staining her cheeks.

"I can't do this," he finally admits, dropping his arm. He shrugs disheartened: "Shit!"

Nadia watches Tig disappearing into the darkness. She'll go back inside and have some more grass. Perhaps some booze too, yet once up, she only manages to cuddle in Juice's arms and cry for a while.

"What is it, babe?" he says waking up barely.

"Just hold me."

There were these insecurities, these pitiful moments that bonded Juice to Nadia. In his mind she was giving him all the right signals she needed and liked him. This was the same woman who told him those awful things when he asked her:

"So is it true that you sold weapons to the Palestinians?"

"Yeah, they all had built in tracking devices. And then we have an air strike. Ka-boom!"

He was mesmerized with her past, with her strength and yet each time she gave him an insight into her softer, susceptible nature, he fell more for her.

Tig drove away that night. It was only when he passed the sign which announced exiting Charming that he called Clay and demanded his help. It was the beginning of a new life for him, a life he didn't have money to pay for, but he desperately needed. "Show me the money, white man," said the tall Indian smiling avidly. And Clay showed him. After all, Tig would have done the same if he were in that sort of trouble, the problem was, the mechanic was broke. They put him in a small wooden house surrounded by trees. It would have been romantic in other circumstances, but Tig was so destroyed, he needed time and tons of tripping mushrooms to make peace with himself. He spent the first days in a kind of drunken, stoned agony, reason why he got the temporary nickname: Stinky. It wasn't in his nature to stay put and pity himself, but it wasn't anything else to do at that point either. He just lay there crying, remembering things and then crying some more.

"A shit life, son," told him the Chief one morning when Tig happened to be a little sober. "When you've had enough, come looking for me. I need to catch a bobcat and you can help me."

Days turned into weeks and slowly the need for mushrooms and the booze dimmed down. All that was left was helping around, uneasily fitting into the community.

"Why don't you kill the damned bobcat?" he asked the Chief while fixing the old trap.

"I'll have a word with her to leave my chicken," responded the Indian. "The bobcat is good; she keeps the coyote in check. The bobcat is the coyote's shadow."

When Gemma walked in she saw a peaceful, thin Tig who hardly spoke. He didn't even move when she touched his cheek. It looked as if all passion had drained from him and a sort of frozen calm replaced it.

"That bitch is with Juice now," she said. "I don't like her, but Jax says there's nothing wrong with her. Jax is complicated. Things are getting better for the club. I haven't seen Clay in days… Tara is impossible. I'm worried for Jax." She pauses to recollect herself. "Tiggy, how did we ended up so…"

"It's all right, Gemma," he answered her. "I see things clearly now. You shouldn't worry too much."

"I care about you, baby. I'm so sad to know you away."

"I'm fine," he replies indifferently. "You should go now."

Nadia can't wait any longer. Ever since she eves dropped and learnt about the reservation she felt her heart caught fire. She jumped on her bike and followed Gemma. Noticing how little time the woman spent there she figured Tig was not much of a talker these days. She instantly feared he might have achieved that balance, that lucidity which would vanquish someone like her into insignificance and oblivion. Still, there was no turning back, she needed to know.

The sun sparkled through the bush, it was one of those warm days when is best to just laze in the shade. She spotted him on the porch, her breath accelerated; she didn't suffer such emotion unless she happened to be on the battle field in a very tight situation. His pale eyes pinned her speechless in front of his wooden dwelling.

"You've come to enjoy the damage?" he speaks eventually.

"I needed to see you," she responds shyly.

"Come in."

She feels sick, he doesn't seem the same man, he's changed somehow.

"I didn't mean this for you," she says. "I never wanted you to get hurt because of my actions."

"It wasn't you, it was Jax," he refuses her even the guilt. "Sit. You want coffee?"

His familiarity scares and shames her. She wanted confrontation, not politeness.

"So I've heard you are Juice's ol' lady now," he mentions all of the sudden. She smiles. "Good, I'm happy for ya. He's a good kid."

"Yes, he is," she approves. Nadia wants to cry but somehow tears don't come when you need them. They always fall afterwards when you come to think about it and feel sorry for fucking it up.

"You're not pleased?" he asks.

"Huh?" she retorts taken by surprise.

"With Juice. You're not pleased?" he repeats the question.

"I don't know," she whispers.

"What do you want from me?" he questions her a little angry.

"Black cottonwood," she answers standing up and heading to the window.

"What?" he retorts slightly baffled.

"The tree by the house is a black cottonwood," she reprises. It's a good technique when stressed; it's also a great way of keeping things hidden during an interrogatory. "A native tree. Did you know that palms are not natives to California? They were introduced together with a bunch of other species. This area in particular is very rich in native plant life."

"You're weird."

Nadia turns around quietly. The kettle blows steam. He swiftly grabs her arm and pushes her against the table. She doesn't fight when he lifts up her dress and tears off her undies. She didn't expect to be sodomized the first time around, but now that it was happening she didn't see fit to make it stop. Sobbing is the most she wants to do. There is still anger left in him. And contempt. He finishes quickly and steps out embarrassed with his own action.

"Fuck it!" he whispers touching his mouth nervously.

Tig gets back in the house and pours the water over the coffee in the plunger. As if nothing happened. She's seated, still weeping, but slightly better than he expected.

"The sick things your father did to you…" he says putting the cup in front of her.

"Not my father actually," she replies.

"Ran out of sugar," he notices. "You're gonna have to drink it bitter."

"I'll bring you next time," she answers somehow menacing.

"All right, all right," he murmurs sinking his face in his large palms.

Tig wonders if she's going to be fine. Of course she will, but he's still concerned. He knows she'll have to come back, like an addict as for him, he wanted her again. Not like that, he wanted to love her although that sounded crazy given what just happened between them.

"I'd better go," she says finishing the drink. "Thank you… for the coffee."

xxx

There've been two days since he last saw her. Two long, hot days. He had to find other things to do around the reservation; otherwise he would have gone mad. He needed all the concentration and hard work he could get just to keep him from thinking about her. The damned rain started to pour rattling against the tin roof. _She won't come_, he concluded. _She'll never come back. I blew it. Ah, well…_

Tig stretched on the bed exhausted. His back was sore from lifting crates full of bullets. The outcast lost all remains of hope and fell into a soft sleep.

A reluctant knock brought him back to his senses. It could have been one of the Indians, or maybe even Clay. He cracked the door touching his knife: old habits die hard. She was all wet, reason why he suspected she'd been lingering there for a while, before gathering the courage to announce her presence. There's no need to say anything, he undresses her quietly, kissing her burning lips, her neck, her shoulders. Tig hasn't felt like this with a woman in a long time. Nadia was a very dirty whore indeed, he could have done to her things most men would be ashamed to think and yet she would have liked it. Different, yet not that different from the loose women he normally had, however unlike them in one significant aspect: she loved it because she loved him. She couldn't remember having so many orgasms in one row and the nasty things he whispered in her ear had only improved her appetite. He was relentless and slutty, pounding her madly and then licking her streaming juices and sweat. Her moans must have awakened the reservation, but he didn't seem to care about these impromptu accomplices. The rain kept falling all night soaking the ground. She vaguely remembered she left the car on the grass. It didn't matter anymore, because she had everything she needed. And she felt alive for the first time since Takezo died. She also felt like she wanted to go on living.

The morning light seeped shyly through the old plastic blinds. Nadia needed a shower, but the wooden shack had no such facilities. For such purposes she had to go outdoors where hidden from unscrupulous eyes by concrete walls, were a bucket and a garden hose.

"You're kidding me," she smiles remembering life back in the army.

"Get in… I'll wash you," replies Tig winking.

"How much you said you paid for this accommodation?" she laughs complying.

"I'm not the one paying. Clay does."

"How very kind of him."

Damned, the whole thing started to feel cozy, he pondered. Nadia even cooked breakfast with fresh eggs, one of the advantages of living eco-friendly. They're sitting there with empty plates before them, seeping coffee and trying not to destroy the beauty of it all. Yet there is a sick boyish pleasure in crushing even the most delicate of flowers.

"You're going back?" he says meaning to ask how soon she intended to return.

"Yeah, Juice must be concerned," she utters dreamy.

"Ah right," he smiles, adding: "He loves ya."

"What is love?" she retorts bluntly. "You're not jealous?"

"On Juice?" he replies, trying to buy some time.

"Yeah, on another man you know, fucking me."

"No," he answers firmly.

"Right," she says melancholic. "Does it turn you on?"

"Does it turn you?"

Nadia sits back breathing out the annoyance engulfing her:

"I suppose I'll stop with Juice. Not fair, really."

"What if I asked you to continue?"

"You're asking me to sleep with another man," she rephrases visibly disturbed.

"Yeah."

"How so?"

"It turns me on."

"What if I slept with that guy?" she points towards a young Indian in the courtyard then adds grinning: "in front of you. Would that turn you on?"

"I have no problem with that, I just don't want to touch other dicks, I'm not even curious. I'd watch, yeah," he elaborates. "What? Do you like him?"

"Maybe. Are you asking me to go for him?" she responds fuming.

"Maybe."

"Ask me!" Nadia provokes him.

Tig knows already where this is going, but he wants to see it gone through, just for fun:

"All right, I want you to fuck that guy."

"I won't."

"Why not?"

"It gives you too much pleasure!" she answers bitterly. "Controlling me."

"I know: you don't belong to anyone. You're a lone wolf."

"That's right."

Tig has her where he wanted. There's no point going around the finger anymore, so he speaks things as they are:

"But you love me."

"I've almost forgotten. Brought you some sugar," she adds removing the pack of sugar from the pocket of her jacket, before storming outside.

"No, you never forget," he mumbles in absence.

_**Follow up in Bad Seeds**_


	4. Chapter 4

_**Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work.**_

_**This is how I see the final of the story with Nadia and her significance for the club. The relationship with Tig is all spice! Hope you want to find out how I see this ending.**_

**_Reviews are welcomed! Thank you!_**

Bad Seeds

Nadia continued to visit Tig's den with a frequency which almost turned it religious. They barely spoke and she never staid afterwards, there were no breakfasts and no showers together. It wasn't the well of subjects that ran dry, but she avoided all discussion on purpose. This didn't stop her from noticing things, however, some very concerning indeed. Tig got increasingly bored with his new life and was preparing to leave. Clay was trying to engage in business behind Jax's back, in a confusing game which involved the Chief and the Irish Kings. The mechanic knew it all and he also understood he was being lied to. It occurred to him that Clay's lies have cost him far too much already and that there was little hope for falling on the same page, even if neither liked Jax. Tig feared getting trapped into helping the former President into a strategy to shoot back to the top of the hierarchy. He didn't want it mainly because he felt used, especially since the lack of credible information was chronic. Perhaps realizing the true motive for Clay's generosity towards him, Tig grew weary of it and sought a way out. He began contacting old friends he'd made even before getting patched up.

On the other hand, Jax dealt with Brad as if her brother represented some sort of way out: the future of crime belongs to the black ties and the quiet geeks. It got obvious Jax hated the CIA deal and especially the drug traffic. Nero's increasing influence over him concerned Tara, even more so since Gemma hooked up with him. Nadia knew the CIA deal was nothing less than using one clan to destroy all the others before the government would get involved for real and burry the Sons too. The oldest trick in the book. As for the alternative introduced by Brad and his legit dealings, that was another crap, dictated by the brothers' real employers, the Mossad. Since the CIA was concerned with SAMCRO and the Jews had a very good interest to know what the CIA were busy with, Jax and his team became their business too. Nadia couldn't whisper a word about it, she knew which "club" she belonged too. Yet the idea of destroying these people's lives soured her soul.

In the time elapsed since her sudden debut, she grew fond of Gemma, whom, just like Tig, she almost worshiped and at the same time disliked in relation to Tara. One of the reasons of such link was Gemma's Jewish ancestry, the "feisty side", as she used to call it. However, it was the medic who became her true friend, initially because Tara feared a beautiful woman so close to Jax, although she never admitted her trust in him wasn't 100%. The way she was keeping everything in check reminded of the old matriarch, thus amusing Nadia, who loved a good confrontation wherever she could get one.

As for Juice, he was still craving as much as she rejected him. It worked from the point of view of keeping him occupied, but it drained her energy. When she blatantly told him they had no future together, his reaction made her fear for her own life, far worse than Tig's drama earlier on. Chibs figured it all out very soon. He followed her everywhere, but eventually her addiction won over even the most basic precaution.

"I told you to stay away from Tiggy," said the new VP one day as she was returning from the Reservation.

"I don't know what you mean," she responded faking indifference.

"Don't even try, you tart. You smell of sex!"

She knew Chibs demanded Tig to stop and that he simply responded: "I have her where I wanted." He told her everything in a rare and yet very brief conversation. Nadia was grateful for such transparency, even though she couldn't tell him everything she knew in relation to the club and her own part in her brother's shady deals. "We're both soldiers," she used to say to him and they both smiled. Tig controlled her in ways which were very up front, like naming Chucky to be her "shadow". She knew about it and tried to make friends with Chucky especially since he was Jewish as well, but he always remained reserved, somewhat reverential.

That morning Nadia felt sick, she didn't want to touch the food; she hated even the smell of it. She waited for the right moment to sneak out. She'd been feeling tired in a while now, but that morning it all fell into place. Terrified with the idea, yet somewhat pleased, she mounted on her bike and drove straight to the pharmacy where she asked for a pregnancy test. Shaking with anxiety and expectation, she didn't wait; she simply walked in the nearby petrol station's toilet. The result came without a doubt, positive. "Fuck it!" she cried. She tried so many times with Takezo and nothing! She wanted his child so badly, but it never happened. And then he turned up dead. "Fuck it! Not now!" she said discarding carelessly the plastic strip on the ground. Nadia stormed out very disturbed and headed home. Chucky was amazed to find the result lying on the floor. He collected it and put it in his pocket, then walked away casually.

"Hello, darling!" says Avi Liebermann as she enters her apartment.

His arid face, aquiline nose and dark eyes refresh some almost forgotten moments back in Israel. She was only a child when her mother divorced to re-marry Avi and live the Zionist dream. It wasn't long before Nadia fell in love with him, perhaps desperate for a father figure she was being deprived of. She avidly competed with her mother and then one day he took her to his friend's villa in Eilat. "The girl needs some fresh air, a day by the sea would do her so much good," he convinced her mother. Nadia was dying to go, fascinated by his big shoulders and his charming, large smile. It was that evening that she experienced a man for the first time in her life and it wasn't what she expected at all. Everything was coming back to her from those recesses of the mind she so carefully locked all those years.

"I'm so sorry I arrived unannounced," he adds. "I hope it's not too much of a trouble if I stay here."

"Why don't you stay with Brad?" she responds reflexively.

"Oh, I'm an old man, I don't enjoy myself having whores around day and night. I need some place quiet."

"Sorry to disappoint you, Avi. This is not much quieter."

The man hugs her briefly:

"I understand your problems. I've been informed."

"The operation is going well. There are no problems to report," she confines to a laconic and automatic answer.

"You're about to fuck it all up, dear. Anyway, enough with this. You can sleep on the couch if you like; of course, I realize you still have hard feelings about us, so I won't force you into sharing the bed."

Nadia gets the sudden impulse to throw up, but she tries to mask it, hurrying into the kitchen, uttering firmly:

"I won't sleep here at all."

"Ah, perhaps you'll join that boy, Juice? I'm sorry, dear; it must be hard to replace Takezo with anyone."

"No, Avi. There are plenty replacements for you."

The woman pours herself a glass of lemonade before walking off to see Tig one last time.

He feels she's all ruined inside. She clings on to him desperately; there is a certain kind of sweetness in her touch, very different from what he experienced before. The hungry bitch is dead. Tig knows he reached her true self and this, he doesn't want to scar with his words or actions.

"What?" he finally asks as she lays soft in his arms.

"I was so wrong," she answers. He remains quiet hoping she'd speak her mind. "Tig, remember when I said we were both soldiers?" she picks up encouraged by the silence.

"Yeah, aren't we?"

"Yeah… I'm former Mossad. My brother is still working for them."

"It crossed my mind. I'm sure Jax is not stupid either."

"The man who recruited me, he was my foster father. He was with me, intimately. Very sick games. That's how he controlled me for many years. One day I had to blow up the house of a Hamas leader which I did. Thing is he wasn't home, but his wife, his children, his mom and sisters, they all were. I killed them all, blew them to bits. And he wasn't even there. That was it for me. I left."

"Wow, that's a sad story," he acknowledges after a while.

"Something very bad is going to happen at the club," she continues.

"Did you tell Jax?"

"I want to."

The quietness grows between them like a strange beast, until Tig kills it with a soft voice:

"I love you just the way you are now… beautiful, sweet… you. I don't need all that bullshit, that tough girl crap. It's sexy for a while, but I… I want you." He's touching her tattooed tiger. "It must have hurt."

"I had it done together with Takezo, my lover. We got one each. He was very much like Jax, wanted to change the world. We kept kidding ourselves we would get away, just the two of us, happy forever, somewhere far away from all this, from war. He died."

Tig sighs gently.

"I'm sorry… have you let him go?"

Nadia feels uneasy talking about it, but responds vaguely:

"I always fall in love with men I can't live with."

He wants to tell her she can trust him, she can rely on him, but he's sure she won't believe him:

"Yes you can, you're just… hurt. Scared."

Nadia gives him one last passionate kiss, then says briskly:

"You were right."

"When?"

"All the time."

The woman drives away into the night. Tig has the odd feeling he'll never see her again. Without thinking about it, he starts packing the few things he owns.

xxx

Clay Morrow is waiting at the crossroad, smoking a cigarette. He seems confident, but within he struggles. The next few days could be all or nothing for the old leader. With Nero dead and the CIA deal off, he could be back in charge, Gemma at his side. Well, eventually. As for Jax, in the best case he would wander off with his old lady, just the way he planned.

Clay knew he needed Tig and expected little resistance from him. Yet apart from determination and experience, Clay lacked the capacity to see the bigger picture. He also happened to have a very limited understanding of the human spirit and how radical events such as those occurred with Tig's daughters could affect outcomes for an indefinite period of time. Take Tig's family and he will find solace in the club, until one day when it might dawn on him the club was partially responsible for it. Take the club too and you have the most unpredictable person you can imagine.

The noise of the engine makes Clay a little nervous. Now is the moment.

As soon as Tig pulls over, the dethroned leader knows something is wrong. Nevertheless he continues explaining him the plan which comprises of three simple aspects: killing Nero, burning down the drugs and cutting a new deal with the Lobos and the Russians with the blessing of the Irish. Swell! As for Jax's legit businesses, most of Brad's money came from Russian sources anyway. Money laundry. Tig is very reluctant, he listens and smiles calmly.

"You know, Clay, twice I killed for ya, twice I got it wrong. No more for me, brother."

The former President gets a chill down the spine. He is sure Tig will not reveal these plans to anyone, however such disobedience enrages him. He should kill his old friend and get over with, but he recognizes in him a destroyed individual, someone who has nothing to live for anyway and that makes him sick. It's only when Tig disappears behind a corner that it dawns on him: _that damned bitch!_

Nadia shows up looking weird, as if she's been crying. The boys get the feeling she got there to change some things, but dare not investigate. Each time she showed up there was trouble. Chibs still resented her after all that Juice-Tig story and Juice avoided seeing her entirely. When she walked in, he walked out. It was Chibs who eventually told everything to him and he was still recovering after that conversation. Seeing her face simply brought to his mind murderous thoughts.

"Jax, I need to come clean," she says. "Just you and me," she stops an inquisitive Chibs.

The President nods, whisking her into the meeting room.

"The Brad thing is all bullshit. His money comes from the Russians. They want to take down the Sons, especially since they found out about the CIA deal. You walk into this and they will use ways you cannot predict to destroy you little by little. For now they managed to sway Clay into this game and Nero's life is in danger. A divided club is easier to smash."

"Why are you telling me all these things?" asks Jax a bit confused.

"I have to," she answers vaguely. "Things have changed for me."

"Yeah, how?" Jax provokes her.

"I need you to help me disappear."

"What you mean?"

"I need to go," she retorts hastily. "I don't want anyone knowing except you and me. It will be our secret. You have to help me frame a believable death."

"What are you running from?" he investigates.

"I should not ask for anything," she ignores his question. "I promised to watch your back, but I couldn't turn against my own blood, until now. If I may ask for anything, you must take Tig back; that life is taking him apart."

"He's with Clay," states Jax firmly.

"You are very much mistaken," she pushes it with a tinge of passion in her voice. "He's been lied to and feels very bitter about it."

"All right, I'll think about it."

"Thank you."

Avi is pleased. His little soldier did well. "It's done!" He sometimes has regrets, but never for revealing her true potential, only for the way in which he achieved it. Damn, she was only 17 when he slept with her, that silly girl, looking for a strong figure, in love with an ideal rather than with him, so innocent, so pure, so easy to manipulate. Yeah, he'll have to live with the regret of crushing her innocence, for wiring her into searching for older or abusive men, the wrong crowd. He felt sad for Takezo too, although he was a criminal, it would have been good for Nadia. The Japanese wasn't an evil guy, he had his sweetness. Instinctively Avi sensed Nadia was on the edge, but he couldn't grasp the real reason. This was a little more than the Takezo story.

"Whether you like it or not, I am family," he said to her.

"I wish you weren't."

"I have a duty towards you, I can help you. I will…"

Nadia's face against the dark backdrop looks like that of a wax doll. Her eyes are tired, sad, only the lips seem even more sensual and the breasts perkier.

"All these years, all the shrinks, the booze, the drugs, the lovers and I still can't get rid of you. It's like a curse!" she says trying not to cry.

"I'm sorry… you should let go. It was my entire fault, you know that. You were just a kid," answers the man quickly.

"Avi, recently I killed a guy… he roughed me up and did things to me… things you used to do. I shot him point blank, blasted his brains on the wall. I shot you in my mind too."

Avi is quiet. He knows she hates him, but is not yet able to summit all that anger against him. _The ones closer to you are always the most difficult to take out_, he thinks.

"And the next thing I did was to seduce another man," she continues dreamy, "someone was very much like you, I thought, but I couldn't be more wrong."

"So what happened to this man?" Avi tries to get details. The answer to her weird state of mind starts to take shape.

"Nothing yet. I'm going to do my job no matter what."

"Will you kill him too?"

"If I have to. Anything for the family, right?"

**_Follow up in Time of the Warriors_**


	5. Chapter 5

_**Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Avi Liebermann, Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work.**_

**_Reviews are welcomed! Thank you!_**

SOA goes to war with the Russians, but they're in for a surprise from the Mexicans. Jax shows his extraordinary ability as a leader as well as commander in battle. Tig and Juice fight over some unfinished business.

**Time of the Warriors**

Part 1

It's a hot summer day when Avi Liebermann enters the bar and orders the cheapest beer on the menu. He then folds out a hundred dollars bill and grins. The bartender looks at the money, back at the man, again at the money, again at the man and he gets the idea this dude is playing a prank or something.

"Hey, gringo! Are you trying to piss me off?"

"Not at all, if I had that intention I would have unzipped, I would have reached in, took my dick out and sprayed straight into your face. But you don't see me doing that, do you?"

The bartender takes the money, smirking confused and weary.

"Your beer," he says upon openly spitting into the pint.

"Very kind of you to add some flavour," comments the Jewish man casually. The other Lobos are becoming increasingly curious. And rather agitated. "Hey, wanna hear a story?" continues the old man. "Gather up, people, gather up."

"What's up?" asks the bartender swiftly.

"As we speak, a bitch is our way," he begins. "Rumour has it she looks stunning, the kind of whore you want to fuck and fuck and fuck… you know with an ass so big and round and with tits you keep wanna grab and squeeze." The Mexicans are starting to get the picture: an expression of lust paints their dark features. "She walks into a bar and she orders a drink as if she meant a portion of cock to go with it." The men laugh hysterically.

"Give him a proper beer, Gabriel! I wanna hear this!" says one of them.

"She sits at the bar and the bartender stares at her boobs. What do you think she does about it?" Avi goes on, upon receiving his new pint. "The bitch takes off her jacket. And she's not wearing a damned thing underneath."

The Mexicans watch him in awe.

"Not a damned thing, I tell ya!" then seeps a bit of beer.

"And?" asks the bartender horny.

"She takes his hands and places them on those boobs, and then she reaches behind into the pockets of her jacket and pulls out two guns. She blasts the man to the left, she blows a hole in the one to the right and the bartender just waits there with his hands on her tits as if they were glued."

The Lobos smirk glancing at each other with small, conspicuous eyes.

"She kills the bartender next, then turns around and shoots everybody else."

"What for?" demands the one who offered him the beer.

"She has an appetite for blood. She pours a cup out of a guy's skull and she drinks it all before wandering off… off into the darkness that brought her in."

The men burst into an uncontrollable laughter.

"Been a great pleasure meeting you, guys," says Avi putting on his hat, keeping that same serious air as he walks out.

"Could you believe that shit?" sums it up Manuel, the man with the pint.

A few minutes later Nadia walks in wearing her leather jacket and her tight black jeans. She painted her lips a classic red, a colour which makes her look even sluttier. As she seats on the stool, she looks at Gabriel as if she wants a piece of him and it is not long before Manuel approaches her boldly. A very swift, discrete move of the wrist and the man collapses to the floor gulping for air. Before the other has any chance to see what happened, he gets a bullet to his stomach. Gabriel, the bartender is next. She uses his body as a human shield before finishing off the rest of the men, including the damaged Manuel.

"The Sons said hello, bitches!" she whispers leaving the joint.

"I need you, brother!" says Jax demanding, throwing his arm behind Tig's neck. "We can only work this shit out if we stick together."

"All right, I'm in," mumbles Tig apologetic trying to hide his emotion.

"I trust you, Tiggy and I'm sorry for all that shit that flew between us."

"I trust you, brother!" utters the mechanic hugging his President warmly. Tears of joy twinkle in his eyes. He felt useless without his club. Going back was like being reborn.

"Come on, let's blow shit up!" concludes an equally emotional Jax.

Juice is fuming, but he has to stay in control. They have work to do. But Tig did have sex with his old lady and there must be a fight over it. And the man knows it too. They'll have it that night at the victory party. Will be a fist fight, fair and square and it will all end there, no matter who won. They both knew one shouldn't stay upset with his brother even if a woman was involved.

xxx

Part 2

It took a lot of guts to stand in front of a furious man with a gun. It took even more guts to receive a bullet meant for somebody else. However, the woman cashed it in without hesitation. That's what she did, what she was trained to do and perhaps what she secretly wanted. Deep down, Nadia felt horrified with the challenges ahead of her and sought a way out. Chibs managed to pull her aside, away from the heat of battle.

Jax never suspected they'll run into much trouble that night anyway, at least not in terms of dealing with strong defences. Bad calculation. Bullets started raining on them almost without warning. Steered up by the events in their little bar in Nevada, the Lobos turned up to demonstrate they were still a force to be reckoned with. The new prospect fell first, then a few Mexicans in their team. It came to Tig to rescue Juice from a close call. Although important they both knew this would not change the things between them, they'll still have that fight. The gang took to the highway, closely followed by the Sons. Nobody had the time to assess casualties on the enemy side. It wasn't until the gunfire stopped that Tig realized Nadia was missing. Finding her behind a wrecked car came as a bit of a blow.

"Hey, talk to me," he said speedily opening her jacket.

"She'll be all right, she's wearing a vest," mumbles Chibs faking disgust, but in reality pretty shaken by this display of affection.

"Why the hell did you come to this fight anyway?" Tig asked her somewhat depreciating.

Nadia didn't answer, she stared back coldly. She had it all planned.

"Crazy bitch," whispered Chibs as they moved away.

Jax still remembered the first time the Sons blew up Hale's investments. This time, they were burning down his legacy, a legacy to which unfortunately they brought their own contribution for a while. Understanding where the funds originated, gave a whole new meaning to this war. As if the Natsuki deal wasn't enough, their old Russian friends had to stick their tail in the Sons' stew. It'd have to cost them.

Brad was gone as if he never existed, he simply took off. Jax had no doubt his sister warned him of the attack. Although Jax understood her need to protect her own family, he still pondered whether following Tig's lead on that one, wouldn't have been a better solution in the first place. But Nadia was satisfied to see Hale's "Technology Park" going up in smoke. Somewhere in the distance the Police were ringing their sirens trying to come to grasp with the scale of destruction.

Caught up in a game of drugs, weapons and prostitution, all under the watchful eye of the Uncle Sam, Jax had already begun losing hope. Nevertheless, he'd already decided to sacrifice and go down with the club. The only thing he was worried about was Tara guessing his true intentions.

Juice kept hitting and hitting united with his fury. Her words repeating in his ears: "I didn't choose for you, because I found you weak, baby. Imagine how it'd turn out: me crazy, you weak, how will it end?" At first, Tig wanted to let him win, just so that he could quench his guilt and please his brother, but after a round of heavy blows, he felt a new sort of energy taking over, one that reverberated throughout his body, one that got his dick standing. Although Juice was quicker and more determined, Tig was stronger and far more experienced. He rarely lost a fist fight.

The woman makes her way slowly through the crowd. The spectacle disgusts her, but for a fraction of a second her eyes meet the insane glance of her lover. It chills her soul. Nadia hurries to get away from there. She doesn't care who wins and who loses, she feels that fight is more about masculine ego than herself and that makes her an object, a thing, not a person. Nadia had always kept a certain amount of freedom in choosing who she wanted to be with and when that didn't work she normally reacted badly as it happened with Hale. These days, she found herself sucked deeper and deeper into the fate of all the other biker girls, being claimed and passed around like a puppet.

In a moment of clarity, Tig switched back to the losing act. It was a way of cutting the fight short, after all he had nothing more to prove, but Juice still had a lot to give. Rarely had anyone seen Tig kneeling before his opponent, but this turned out to be one of those times. Blood staining his teeth and cheeks, he grinned looking into the eyes of the younger man:

"You win, bro!"

Juice released him still shaking with too much adrenaline. The boys cheered and hugged the winner, while Tig retreated to a dark corner to light a cigarette.

"Damn' bitch!" he growled spitting out the blood.

Juice came over passing him a beer.

"The whore, she's all yours, Tig," he said making it sound as if she were some trash which could be tossed around in the yard of the loser. "It's better if you keep an eye on her, otherwise Jax might finish her off, nobody trusts her here," he sweetened up his words.

Tig knew Juice still had feelings for Nadia and that the situation couldn't be more complicated, especially since she was so deep into the Jewish-Russian deal, but he agreed with his mate:

"All right, I'll put some order into her."

"I want to get rid of it, Tara!" says Nadia crying on the side of the bed.

"Are you sure?" asks the medic cautiously.

"I'm fucked up, the father is… oh dear!"

"Juice is a lucky man," answers Tara a little apprehensive.

Nadia puffs amused:

"Not Juice!"

"Oh shit!"

The doctor understands Nadia's frustration but wants to tell her own story, even if she might not change a thing. She senses the woman is undecided and for a while now, Tara herself thought over and over how it would have all turned out if she didn't chose to have a son with Jax. She needed to comfort herself with the choice she made years before and in the process convince her new friend to give it a go.

"When I got pregnant with Thomas… I wanted to get rid of it, Jax and I split before I could tell him I was with child. It was a bad, bad time in my life. And when I got there that day in front of the desk, waiting to be sent in for the procedure, I felt sick. I turned back and left, didn't look back. I've never regretted the decision."

"I shouldn't mess up my life with this baby," insists Nadia.

"How about you tell me what you want instead of what you should or should not do?" Tara twists it up, turning her argument on its head.

"You don't get it, do you, Tara?" rants Nadia crying. "He scares the shit out of me! The man is crazy! I'm not particularly sane either, I mean there's no doubt I wanted to kill myself, even tonight when I took that bullet. And he knows it, the mother fucker, he knows me so well and I'm such a fool! I should have settled for Juice, even if he's a bit of a twat. I'm so frightened."

"Tonight… you took that bullet for Tig, didn't you?" the medic puts it together.

"The bastard didn't even notice," answers Nadia bitterly.

"We can do it tomorrow, if you want. I can drive you there…"

"Tomorrow it is."

The bedroom door flies open, Tig in the frame, tall and angry.

"Get out, Tara!" he almost orders.

Nadia is shivering with hopelessness while the medic hesitates.

"Get out!" he shouts. "You stay where you are," he adds pointing at the Jewish woman.

Tara walks out sighing. She can't do anything more for her friend, it became a matter between her and the man she messed with. And everyone knew it wasn't a bright idea to mess with Tig. He was crazy.

"Undress," he pushes Nadia on the bed. She weeps reluctantly. Is it all a bad dream? How did she end up losing her control this way? Her body wanted him with every cell, but her mind was frozen with horror. "Undress, woman!"

She takes off her clothes with the same tension and sadness as if she expected to be taken to the guillotine.

He takes her roughly and quickly, without being bothered with her personal satisfaction. Mesmerized with the voluptuous shapes of her body, he gropes her vigorously. He already knows. Chucky was a loyal boy. He pulls out, leaving her in tears, feeling used and owned.

"Are ya pregnant?" he asks lighting up a cigarette.

Nadia emits a trembling "yes".

"I knew we were coming to this" the man shakes his head. "What were you talking with Tara? You wanted to get rid of it, didn't you?"

"What if I did?" Nadia regains her composure.

"I should have a say too," he retorts irritably.

"Sorry, I didn't expect you to care. What we had was… just sex."

Her words increase his indignation. He grabs her jaw and pushes her head into the pillow.

"No, it wasn't. You know it wasn't. But you wanted things to be that simple. You're chickening out before me and you know what, you make me sick!"

"I took a bullet for you tonight!" Nadia utters slapping his beaten, bloody face.

"I know, Chibs told me. It's easier to die than tell me what you want?"

The woman bursts into a frantic cry, which impresses even his hardened soul. He hugs her trying to give some comfort. Breaking this one was going to be a tough process. "I love you, you stupid bitch!" he whispers, caressing her, yet the next minute he attacks her again, squeezing her fragile neck: "Don't you fuck up, I'll kill ya, pregnant or not, I'll kill ya!" Tig finally stands up saying on a firm, yet more humane tone: "I own you now. Deal with it!" As he's about to turn away and leave, he adds: "I'm taking your bike. Ol' ladies don't ride."

**_Follow up in A Dead End_**


	6. Chapter 6

_**Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Avi Liebermann, Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work.**_

**_Reviews are welcomed! Thank you!_**

**_Finally Nadia, the badass, has what she wanted and it's fun, fun, fun, in a bad way of course._**

**A Dead End**

Part 1

Living with Tig was like living with the devil. He had everything arranged in a certain order which could not be changed without serious consequences. They had a war about having a flower vase, then another about the proper place where it should sit and then another which ended in Tig smashing it up for the reason she failed to follow his strict instructions. To make things worse, Nadia was given some new duties which she loathed. They came in the form of a detailed schedule which was placed on the fridge door. Abating from the task meant hours of detention in the bedroom, without access to the toilet, that is. After only two weeks, Tig had the door replaced with a stronger one. Cleaning comprised of two steps: vacuuming the carpets twice a week and washing the kitchen and bathroom floors daily. On top of that was dusting, hovering, ironing, shopping and cooking. All his things had to be kept in the exact order and place where he left them, except for the dirty clothes which he nonchalantly threw all over the house. Tig never ate re-heated food, nor did he touch the same recipe twice in a row, so Nadia had to pretty much invent new dishes day after day. The man was an avid meat eater; therefore her favourite vegetarian dishes didn't enter the menu.

"I don't want to be a housewife, to stay home and clean and cook!" she was complaining.

"You can get a job after the baby is born," he was lying to her.

Afraid she might still get rid of it, Tig named Chuck as her personal assistant. The fellow lived and slept in their apartment, which she found creepy and troublesome. He didn't help much with anything, she sometimes found him in the way of things. "I ain't got no fingers, can't you see?" he was telling her.

Nadia felt so tired and nauseous some nights that she simply fell asleep before her man got home. Tig adored making love and caressing her pregnant body, but her fatigue sometimes got in the way of such plans. And Tig wasn't the man habituated with patience. He commenced frequenting his fuck buddies, whores who were way below Nadia's charm, but who could be made available much easier. This situation, although very much expected, filled Nadia's heart with cynicism and antipathy. It got too far when he brought a slut in. The poor sex worker barely got away alive and the scandal forced the neighbours to call the cops. In addition to this, Tig was now the one running the porn business for the Club. Not surprisingly, Nadia had plenty of issues with this state of affairs. It was Jax and his diplomacy that patched things up again.

Although he often felt like hitting her, Tig controlled his temper. He didn't want her hurt; as a matter of fact he hated men who did that to their old ladies. It was okay to bash a hooker, but it wasn't right to handle your own bitch in the same fashion. He still recalled Gemma's conflicts with Clay and shivered with resentment.

Chibs seemed to drop by a lot too. Since Bobby got heart problems and quit his VP position and Op wandered off again without claiming a place in the hierarchy, Jax had no choice but to work with what he's got, so he named Happy as the new Sergeant in Arms and repositioned Chibs as his VP. If the Scottish man was a bit of a father figure even before, his new spot turned him into a kind of grandpa. He had a good word for everyone and each time someone ran into trouble they could go and ask Chibs for advice. Juice almost worshiped him as a role model and Nadia turned him into her personal confident. And she wasn't the only one. Tig too, had plenty to complain about:

"Is hard, man," he told the VP. "She's one crazy bitch. We're like a rocking boat. I go one way, she goes the other. She started to bend a little, she's not so bold anymore, but is hard to teach her who's her daddy."

Yet Tig never underestimated Nadia's ability to play the game. He knew she'd come up with ways to keep him interested in her, sometimes very sick and twisted ways, but that's why he loved her. Only she could turn into the dirtiest of whores, when just previously she seemed like such a warrior and a virtuous woman.

For example, the night when the Club partied and most men got themselves pleased by a prostitute. To Tig's amusement, Nadia walked in wearing a tight dress with cut out back, revealing her beautiful tattoo and those sculpted muscles. She was an instant attraction, but none of the chaps dared to make a move, they all knew Tig could turn deadly for less than that. Nadia got herself a whore too, while watching him getting a blow job across the room. The petite blonde slut she picked plaid with her excitable nipples for a while, until his insistent guise suggested Nadia he craved to have sex with her rather than that trash hanging by his dick. Gently, she moved through the crowd, glancing at him with lustful eyes. With a firm hand she grabbed the slut's hair and began pushing her head back and forth as if she were a sex doll. Nadia loved punishing and controlling both the poor girl and her crazy lover, she felt dizzy with sadistic pleasure just hearing her gag and watching him quiver. What she loved about it most was the fact that he never stopped her; he secretly enjoyed this kind of power she exerted upon him; he wanted her to be a dominant, cruel bitch even if he claimed submission from her part.

"I love you," he whispered licking her ears.

"Keep your hands behind you!" she ordered him in a kind of heartless ecstasy.

Nadia pushed the loose woman aside, kicking her in the stomach, just to humble her further. She then jerked him off dry against her pantyhose while he repeated mindlessly:

"You're so beautiful!"

Part 2

Nadia was looking at the body of the young woman and couldn't believe how much she resembled her.

"A Jane Doe, Latina," said Jax, zipping it back up.

"So sad… it could have been me," answered Tig's old lady, stroking the corpse.

"It is you," replies Jax throwing in some bags of ice.

"Where did you find it?" she questions.

"Safe source, I've been careful."

She wasn't sure about that, but she had to work with whatever she had available.

Nadia was desperate to leave. Day by day she grew more impatient; sensing him drifting further and further away, less interested. Even Chucky seemed to have lost his sharpness; he stopped following her around like a skinny hound. Despite this, Tig continued to be demanding and that stressed her uselessly, yet that was his sick pleasure, he found solace in the thought that she found him threatening. But Nadia wasn't the kind of woman who finds it romantic being told what to do and she saw no future with Tig, she never did. However the very fact that she ended up caught up in this charade, stunned her. She never wanted to end up with any of them bikers; their world was something she loathed from the racist tendencies to the stuck up misogynistic rules of their gatherings, to the gossip and backstabbing gracefully executed by their old ladies, it all seemed poisoned not only by crime, but also by a form of immaturity and this was something she couldn't surely tolerate. In relation to them she felt alien, withdrawn and complicated. Contrary to everyone's believes, including Tara's whom Nadia regarded as one of the smartest bitches she lay eyes on, the former soldier-spy-criminal chose to live with Tig for a while, not because she craved for his talents in bed, or because she was so madly in love she could take anything he threw at her. She was perfectly aware that having a baby at that point was inappropriate and damaging for both herself and the unborn and she saw no way on earth that baby once born would have had the kind of life she wished for any child: a safe, loving, healthy environment. Perfectly aware of Tig daughter's story her fears confirmed. Growing up there would certainly turn you into a felon or at best, it'd scar you forever. That was what Opie discovered as well, that's why he left.

However, Nadia couldn't conceive easily. She reached to this conclusion after trials and specialized investigations, therefore getting pregnant even in such troublesome circumstances deserved all the respect attributed to a miracle and she thought long and hard upon making her mind one way or another. Being a strange and slightly fatalist creature, she made a bargain with herself that if nothing prevented her from having an abortion, then she'd toss this skeleton in the basket together with the other bad memories of her life. But something did happen and when it did, she was happy about it, she took it as a sign from God, even though at first, the months to come terrified her, particularly the confined proximity to the baby's father. It's normally strong people who doubt their own strength until they smile in the face of death without deterrence.

As for being afraid of hurting someone's feelings and the moral issue of "the truth" and how much one or another deserved to know it, Nadia cut it sharply for Jax:

"All truth is circumstantial."

Jax smirked thinking this was a thing his mother would like to say.

Of all the ones she met there, Nadia only trusted Jax, since she recognized in him the same character traits she found in her beloved Takezo. She knew he'd never toy with her as long as she remained fair. She knew he'd never rat about her either.

If the relationship with Tig did something good, that was helping her crystalize her ideas and perhaps coming to grasps with the origin of her constant mistakes when it came to men. She hoped that tricking Tig would equal tricking all the others, including Avi. She needed to play the game for a little longer, just a little longer. It took patience and skill as with any escape from any prison. The grand plan involved "dying" not only to the Club, but also to her other family, whom she resented just as much.

Nadia had hopes. And when Tig came back that night she knew she had to move quickly.

"Your brother is dead," he told her shortly.

"Who did it?"

"It looks like the Russians. I'm sorry."

**_Follow up the conclusion of the serries in A Silent Dawn_**


	7. Chapter 7

_**Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Avi Liebermann, Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work.**_

**_Reviews are welcomed! Thank you!_**

_**Nadia gets confirmation regarding her brother's death, but things are not straight forward and there are ways and ways to punish the ones responsible. Tig gets frantic, while Jax fights to keep appearances.**_

**A Silent Dawn**

**Part 1**

It's a cloudy afternoon. The diner is full of people some, women with kids, truck drivers, bikers and a few teens. Avi sits in a corner, wearing his unforgettable hat and his shady glasses. He smiles at the chubby woman walking in, touching her fattening belly with one hand. She looks gloomy, so she must have learnt about her brother already.

"Nadia, are you happy, darling?" he starts.

"What do you mean?" she asks pensive.

"You seem troubled," he answers meaning to add something else, but stopping in his tracks.

"Did the Sons kill Brad?" she retorts briskly.

"That's why I wanted to know if you were happy…"

"I am as you expected me to be," she confirms his theories.

"I'm sorry."

"So?"

"Who brought you the news?" Avi questions and responds at the same time.

"Who do you think?" she grins.

"That is very sad, indeed."

"Should I do anything about it, from our point of view?" she demands instructions.

"No, that's why I asked how you felt with him. Do as you please."

"Very considerate of you, Avi. I appreciate it."

The woman turns around slowly, still wondering.

"Good luck, kid," Avi wishes her already guessing she will return to ask for his help. This was something he deeply wanted, a chance to redeem.

Tig thought Nadia had quietened down, but he knew she could still put together two plus two and have her back in full fighting mode as soon as she was certain he was responsible for Brad's death. It was Jax's decision after all; he simply complied with the instructions. Tig didn't want her around when the revelation dawned on her. It wasn't that she truly loved her brother, who in effect caused her more pain that comfort, but that spoilt brat happened to be family and when it came to families, "an eye for an eye" rule applied.

Cruelty is easier when people possess a lot of sickness in them and Tig had plenty of that. What made it even nicer was the fact that hurting her, he suffered too and he secretly liked that, just as much as he liked hurting himself every now and again when things got a little too agitated. Of all women, only Nadia and Gemma were aware of this fact and only Nadia did actually inflicted serious pain as a prelude to sex.

"I want you to blow Chucky," he told her suddenly, waiting for an outburst of curses.

His demand came so surprising, that Nadia dropped the glass she was holding. The drink spilled all over the floor disturbing the perfect order and cleanliness, the shards exploded throughout the tiny kitchen.

"Clean this shit up!" he yelled forcing her to her knees. "Do it! You fucking whore!" She gave him one of those hateful looks which can only spell problems, but he looked away on purpose as if he wasn't paying attention to her at all. Apparently obedient, the woman used a paper towel and started to clean with surprising dedication, ignoring the cuts she already received to her knees. She simply felt her submission would piss him off even more.

Exasperated with her conduct, Tig grabbed her by the hair and pulled her behind him into the living room where a terrified Chucky faked watching TV.

"I want you out of my house and out of my life!" Tig barked sharply. "You drive me nuts!"

Nadia rolled over exposing her pregnant belly.

"Why don't you blow me?"

Tig hated to hit her, he had no desire, but he had to if he wanted to get his point across. It all came down to the baby, _pretend you want to harm the baby and she'll grow into a monster of defences_, he pondered.

Her fury reminded him the feisty girl that came one day on a broken bike, the girl who came after him with a wrench when he put his hand down her trousers. She was still just as beautiful, but she grew warmer, softer, almost tame. _The miracles of pregnancy_, he thought.

"Touch me again and I kill you!" she yelled so full of bitterness, Chucky sensed a tremor going through his body. Tig remained adamant throwing her out of the house without a shred of guilt or mercy. The assistant, baffled, hurried after the woman instinctively. He knew his protector could resort to such cruelties, but the extent and viciousness of this argument moved him.

Alone, in the peace of his empty apartment, Tig could finally cry punching his own reflection in the bathroom mirror while repeating: "Forgive me."

Chucky drove Nadia back to the Club. They spoke little throughout the short trip. She had no place to go and he knew it. The poor disabled thought that Tig's tantrum truly broke her heart. In effect, Nadia felt liberated. She called Jax using Chucky's phone, a conversation they rehearsed a number of times till they got it right. It had to be right to be believable. And Chucky had no doubt every word was true.

"Jax, I need help," she wept. "He threw me out, got nowhere to go. Think something's wrong with the baby. Yeah, I'm coming over."

The theatre continued with Jax lending her some money and an old car they kept for special situations. Nadia seemed erratic, so much so, that Juice forgot all about her betrayal and offered to take her in, help her and even run away with her to some unknown destination. These were words he couldn't abide by. He too had taken part in Brad's assassination. But the woman cried and cried without making sense.

"Tonight!" confirmed Jax whispering in her ear, while hugging her goodbye.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Disclaimer – The characters of this fanfiction, as well as the 'Sons of Anarchy' world belong to Kurt Sutter, with the exception of Avi Liebermann, Nadia and Brad Cohen, who are original characters created by me. I make no profit from this work.**_

_**The grand finale, but it might not be the end of Nadia.**_

**_Reviews are welcomed! Thank you!_**

Part 2

Tig picked up a philosophy book. Thinking of something deep and yet, in his case, sterile helped him calm his nerves. Whoever took him for an uneducated man was very much mistaken. Although he hated schools and teachers, even the good looking female teachers, Tig had always loved reading. In this respect he was self-taught and went through both pretentious and rubbish literature with the same avidity.

Trying to concentrate on the meaning of those words simply didn't work that night, however. The image of a girl he used to hang out with as a young man, came back to haunt him. She had the same strange, exotic features like Nadia, but not her strength. When he rejected her, she ended up taking her own life, plunging under a speeding truck. That was no accident, he knew that much. A gruesome way to discover she was pregnant too. He loved that one big time, but just as these days, he was fucked up. Nothing and nobody couldn't change that fact. Only he could probably do something about it and he was unable. It was too late. But he adored this bitch, this evil, crazy, sweet woman who probably saw no future with him either. She was so improper for him and he was so inadequate to her that any sensible persons would have avoided going into this trouble at all costs. He guessed they weren't sensible at all. And yet Tig couldn't let go the remorse, the fear that something might go wrong with her and the awful question which he didn't even have the guts to put. Why did that idiot, Brad, return to Charming? He figured they weren't looking for him. Why was he talking to the Mayans? Why make such a childish mistake? At least if she were to react badly he wanted her on the enemy side rather than in his bed. Just a moral calculus, perhaps a silly one, given the saying: keep your friends close and the enemies closer. Perhaps the true reason of his outburst was the fact that he couldn't cope with her any longer, with the settled life, with falling for her out of his wits. He had to cut the string before the baby was born. He didn't care about no baby, he already had two daughters who suffered enough because of him, two daughters who cheated and manipulated him and to whom he felt eternally guilt-ridden for not being around much.

When Jax's text came through, he felt relieved to be given the chance and team up with the boys for some night jobs. Work provided him with a more reasonable distraction.

The others were tensed. Everybody understood the reasons, but didn't approve with the methods, not that any of them could come up with a better plan. And Juice thought her to be very similar to Tig, therefore just as volatile and vengeful. A hurt, single Nadia was far worse than an owned one as far as he was concerned, but perhaps his more experienced mate had other ideas.

Nadia was still recalling that sunny day when she was on the run, the day when she was victorious against Hale, against her brother and only sought for a place to lick her wounds. She wondered how she found herself running again, this time from the people she chose to help her. Swerving clouds of dust drew floating ribbons behind her car, as she was driving away, deep into the desert. She couldn't help not crying. She was joyful as much as agonizing. Nadia took Tig's reaction for what it was: a desperate attempt to send her away before she figured who finished Brad. She understood his ferocity, yet deeply regretted it.

The body next to her stunk very badly, or perhaps in her pregnant state her sense intensified. Stopping the car next to the old wooden shack, Nadia steps out and drags the corpse inside. It's not easy handling that weight over the staircase.

"Heavy, isn't it?" asks Clay coming out into the pale light of the full moon.

Nadia freezes in place.

"What you want?" she questions him speedily. She is very surprised to see Clay at all; he's been very withdrawn ever since the incident with the Lobos and the Russians. Jax never accused him of plotting, because it looked as if Clay had recused himself and attended less of the Club's business than a hang around.

"I followed you around. You and Jax have it all cover, haven't you? You make Tig dump you. This is not hard, Tig's a whore and a mad man. Then you commit "suicide". Problem solved: you disappear, your folks think you're dead, we think you're dead, you move some place nice and live happily ever after. But you've forgotten the old man, bitch."

Nadia wished she had the gun with her, but when he notices his, she instantly realizes there's no way out.

"What you want?"

"What I want? Gonna play with you a little, torture you till you faint, then play with that pussy of yours. Very romantic to choose the place where you were boning with Tig for your "suicide", nobody can hear you here."

"Why are you doing this?" whispers the woman backing down slowly.

"Because I can, because I want," answers Clay moving towards her at the same pace.

"I carry Tig's baby."

"I know. I've always thought you were no good, but you talked my best man out of it and that didn't cut it for me. Now I have you and I'm gonna have me some fun."

If she wasn't pregnant Nadia would have tried anything: running, picking up a random object and using it as a weapon, using her own limbs, but her condition not only slowed her down, it somehow rewired her brain. Once inside Clay slaps her over the face a few times, just to get her slightly dizzy, then pushes her on the floor. The man smiles sadistically putting his boot on her neck:

"You're just another Gemma, all feisty and full of shit. Now tell me, Juice is just a kid, but why Tig? Why not Happy, Opie, me?"

Nadia cries without answering.

"Tell me why? If you don't I'm gonna kick your baby and you know that's not good, I'm a strong man, I can't always tell how hard I'm gonna hit."

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm curious, that's all," he says slowly, kicking her belly rather softly.

The woman screams quivering into a foetal position.

"Why?" he repeats coming closer to her level.

"Because he has a heart, you don't." Clay lifts her up and pushes her against the wall. "Happy and Op are not for me," she continues hastily. "I'm a slut and a psycho, just like him, but I would rather have you shoot me then let you do anything with me tonight."

Clay smirks satisfied.

"Write!" he growls passing her an empty notebook page.

"What?" she retorts surprised.

"Exactly how you feel, why you leave. Everything. This is for Tiggy. Gonna let him cry over you for a couple of days then I'll give him this. Poor bastard will be destroyed to hear you killed yourself, just like his first love. Write!" he commands her using his cell phone as a torch.

Tig lay fully dressed in the tub, the warm water raining on him, but he kept shivering. Her beautiful body had turn to ashes. It reminded him when he killed those Mexican whores, their bodies twisting in the fire. That image made him yell unexpectedly. The place where they made love was gone scorched to the ground. It must have been a curse. _I killed this one too_, he talks with himself. _Yes you did, yes you did. You gave everything to the Club. I loved that one, the one under the truck… I'm so sorry, so sorry… Nadia. She's gone, you killed her, don't you remember? _

There was nothing left of that perfect order in his small apartment. Everything was smashed up and lay in pieces all over the place. He only kept her clothes on the racks. They stood there like some ghostly witnesses to a mad scene.

_All right now, what are ya going to do? Bury the body, yeah, pick up a shovel and go at night. _

Tig couldn't even see Juice talking with Chibs next to him. Neither thought Tig would recover and neither expected his feelings to be that profound. Luckily Tara came over and sedated him, but they knew they couldn't keep him asleep for days on end.

It was a quiet dawn when Tig opened his eyes to find a note next to his pillow. For a brief moment he didn't even remember where he was or even who he was. That was the happiest moment he experienced in days. He recognised the writing and thought he was about to read her suicide note. Tig didn't want to read it, but some interior device, some weird resort pushed him.

_"Tiggy, _

_I have no words to describe what I've done, but you know very well what you've done. I couldn't just get over something like that and I'm sure you understand. You tried to force me out of your life, to make things easier for me and I'm grateful. But I had to go. I had it planned for months. I asked Jax to help me and don't take it wrongly, he meant you no harm he was only protecting the Club and figured it would be easier with me out of it. I left because I came to realize something crucial: we are the same, you, me, Clay… we are all fucked up. I wanted this child growing inside my womb to have a different future I said to myself that I'd at least try. I might fail, but I'll give it my all to make it work. I'm sorry I deprive you of the joy of knowing your son. I had to be cruel to protect my baby. I love you. You alone looked into my soul and understood so much about me. But I fear you sometimes, you and your Club. It's poisonous. Please allow me the discretion of not showing this to Jax. Let him believe my plan worked just as I told him it would. I'm sorry. I love you._

_Nadia"_

Clay waited there in the door until Tig finished reading it. He read it three times just to be sure he understood correctly.

"Where is she?" he lifted his eyes, meeting his mate's cold gaze.

"With her own club."


End file.
